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Incarcerated Snack Faces: O.J. Simpson Nearly Pissed Away His Parole Over Contraband Cookie

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Image via Getty/REUTERS/Steve Marcus/pool

O.J. Simpson’s Parole Was In Peril Over A Cookie

In case you haven’t heard, O.J. Simpson is about to be back on these streets.

The former-footballer-turned-convicted-felon has been granted parole after being sentenced to 33 years in prison for kidnapping, robbery and burglary.

According to USAToday, Orenthal’s parole was in serious jeopardy over a contraband cookie.

In his book, Guarding The Juice, retired corrections officer Jeffrey Felix tells the story of a naive O.J. Simpson who clearly had no idea how prison works.

A food prep inmate had stolen the tasty treats from the kitchen and gave them to his fellow incarcerated brethren. While most of the knowledgeable criminals went to the their cells to enjoy their ill-gotten gains, O.J.’s dumb azz sat right in the common area and chowed down:

“Being the loud O.J. he is, the guard in the bubble saw him eating a cookie,’’ Felix told USA TODAY Sports. “And of course she said, ‘Where’d you get the cookie from?’ Well, O.J. doesn’t lie. He got it from a guy, a culinary worker.

“Well, she wrote him up for having contraband. Over a cookie. That’s pretty crazy. So when I came back the next day for work, O.J. came to me and told me what happened. He said, ‘I can’t have a write up because I won’t get my parole.’ ”

Felix says he had a lil’ talk with the female guard and convinced her to tear up the write-up by telling her that she’ll forever be known as “cookie monster” if she disciplines O.J. over a silly snack.

This book sounds like its gonna be full of shady stories of O.J.’s messiness and f**kery.


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